How To Constructively Resolve Conflicts In Pairs

How To Constructively Resolve Conflicts In Pairs
How To Constructively Resolve Conflicts In Pairs

Video: How To Constructively Resolve Conflicts In Pairs

Video: How To Constructively Resolve Conflicts In Pairs
Video: 14 Effective Conflict Resolution Techniques 2024, March
Anonim

In a relationship, the attachment of partners to each other is always formed. If the partners were not traumatized by childhood or life experience, then a completely harmonious couple turns out. If a couple is made up of people who have received a strong negative experience or have mastered a destructive model of behavior in relationships in childhood, then problems begin, a search for the guilty and crises. The form of development of the conflict in such a pair is due to the type of attachment inherent in each participant in the pair.

How to constructively resolve conflicts in pairs
How to constructively resolve conflicts in pairs

Anxiety type of attachment is expressed in anxiety about their importance to the partner. Such a person is ready to "build relationships", to work on them, if only the partner responds to the needs, shows how important these relationships are to him. Each confirmation is an emotional stroking that calms the anxious partner, informs him that everything is in order and you can relax a little. In conflicts, anxious types cannot withstand boycotts, emotional alienation, it is important for them to find out everything here and now. If a partner apologizes, goes to reconciliation, then such behavior is perceived as alarming, as a signal that everything is in order, that he is still needed, loved and approved by the partner. This type of attachment is formed in childhood, when the child is not sure that he is loved just like that, when the parents praise him for A's and demonstrate their love and acceptance only after tangible childhood achievements.

An isolated type of attachment is expressed in distance. Such a person in conflicts withdraws into himself, can be silent for a long time and leave communication. Boycotts and emotional alienation are easily tolerated. He does not need to discuss the situation, he digests his emotions alone with himself, argues his position to himself, then calms down and is ready for reconciliation. This type is also learned in childhood, if the family is used to hushing up problems. Or, on the contrary, they too persistently and carelessly wedged themselves into the child's personal space, showing inappropriate and annoying overprotection. When anxious and isolated types collide in a couple, it is very difficult for partners to agree, it is difficult to resolve conflicts.

There are markers in the natal chart that can indicate the type of attachment. Anxious attachment is usually indicated by the following aspects:

1. Moon in a tense aspect with Mars

2. Moon in tense aspect with Jupiter

3. Moon in a tense aspect with the Sun

4. At the same time, there are personal planets in the upper hemisphere in the chart.

Isolated attachment is shown by the following aspects:

1. Moon in a tense aspect with Saturn

2. Moon in tense aspect with Pluto

3. At the same time, the lower hemisphere is emphasized in the map.

The form of development of the conflict is also influenced by the degree of damage to the Sun. The more it is struck by the tense aspects, the more difficult it is for a person to find a way out of conflict situations and go to reconciliation.

Of course, you cannot pull out individual aspects from the map and make categorical "diagnoses", the map is always fully assessed. But these markers should be considered when you are in a serious relationship. At least in order to better understand a loved one and resolve conflict situations with hugs, and not mutual claims.

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